My Diary

3rd Aug 2016

What do I want? This question has been haunting me throughout this week and I have been trying to figure it out but unfortunately haven’t got much luck. I know a few things for sure. I want to be happy. I want others to be happy and I want to make others happy. I don’t want people to be sad because of me. I have a question here, if in that process of making others happy you have to sacrifice some of your favourite things and even change or give up a few characters that makes you ‘you’, is that okay? Is it fine? Is it normal?

Next thing I want is to be good at anything and, if possible, everything I do. I might not be the best at everything I try to do but trying doesn’t hurt and even though it might hurt when I don’t succeed in some of the things, but I honestly don’t mind little bit of scratches here and there. Minor falls just forces me to get back up and start on the course again, more determined to succeed this time. Here arises one question, what about a major never-give-up-your-dreamfall? Major falls have put me in severely diminished positions. The fall felt very bad and I don’t know if a fall more severe than that is yet to come but it really put me off, it took a pretty bad toll on me. I had to hold myself together and it took quite sometime. Throughout the experience all I had on my mind was that I have to Always Keep Fighting. There is this proverb I believe in – Never give up…success may be just an inch away.

I love dancing and I want to be a fabulous dancer. This might be a little far away dream of mine as of this moment because as much as I love dancing I have many other things to take care of right now. I hope to pursue my love for dancing one day, whenever that might be!

The list of things I want to do might never end if I keep going. One thing that helps me keep my focus in order to get the things I want is keeping smaller goals. I know the things I have mentioned here are pretty vague but in order to get to the ultimate goal, like for example in order to make others happy, I just attempt one task a day like make tea or breakfast for mom or listen to my friends; sometimes just listening to people share their feelings keeps them at ease and makes them happy. Once in a while, everyone needs someone to talk to or someone who would just listen to us without being judgemental. I feel I can do that and I IMG_20160803_222452_812am always ready to listen to you if you ever have anything to share or need someone who would listen to you. You can always count on me. And I feel, from my personal experience,
it is easier to share with strangers rather than people you meet daily. This maybe because you will probably never meet or have any sort of contact with the stranger ever again. So, it will be a one-time action. You should also give it a try sometime, might be helpful.

However, right now all I want is a cup of iced coffee…

Have a great day !

Happy-ness

Happiness is a choice. Choose to stay happy.

I have waited for quite some time to get into this path but today, when I’ve got here, I cannot feel the excitement. Every moment feels like I’m faking not only to others but also to myself too. Is it even possible?

I miss being silly and stupid. I remember being fearless and asking lots of questions whenever I wanted to know something about something. Now, this feeling of shyness has taken over. I can still be back to who I was but I need some inspiration i.e. some such people who don’t just get scared of speaking their mind and love to do silly stuffs.

2nd Feb 2014

I have been quite busy for past few days with my studies. I have been in a whole new environment for about 2 months and 2 weeks now and I am still trying to adjust to it. It is fun getting to know new people, but I am kind of shy person and I don’t know how to start a conversation with a complete stranger it gets difficult at times. Once I even felt like I didn’t belong, but that is not what life is about, is it? I just realized somehow (talking to my “old” friends) that life is worth every shot you give to a task you want to do, every risk you take in order to get something you want and going through ups and downs with the people around you is the part of it. I believe everyone goes through such situations when you feel like there is almost nothing you can do to save the sinking boat, but even in those situations you can stay positive just by living it up. A cool mind is the most essential requirement for stable thinking. And another thing is, perhaps you need to give yourself some time. I had heard the teachers tell us about giving ourselves time and not pushing ourselves too far right from the beginning. I didn’t really understand it then, but now I can. I have been thinking, doing lots of thinking! How long will I keep up this laziness, how long am I going to behave like a 16 yr old when I am actually quite a grown-up, how long am I going to tell myself that I will start and change from “tomorrow”? It is true what people say, “tomorrow never comes”. I have decided many things and this is one of them. I will start. I am starting right after I finish with this writing, so basically this is my reminder for what I’ve decided. Once I get started then there is no stopping, but takes me quite some time to actually get started!

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