I have been thinking, and by the gap between this and my last post you can probably guess that I have been thinking a lot! There has been all sorts of things crossing my mind lately. I get annoyed so easily. The most hurtful thing to cross my mind has to be the thought that I have no clue about what I want from my life. This thought is very frightening and true as well. I am so scared of doing just anything at all, might that be something I have never done in my life or something that I have already done at least once. I am worried for myself and I am really scared of what I am becoming. I have no interest in studying. Many people would say this, I know, but I used to love studying back in high school. This college life of mine has been a total mess. I had pretty good moments in the beginning, but as of now, the circumstances have become such twist of a thing that those good moments just feel like bad memories. Sometimes I wish all this never happened and sometimes I think this was good whatever happened as I got to know how ‘friends’ can be ‘not friends’ or just total strangers in a tick of a second.
There isn’t really anything to this post today. I am a bit occupied, doing nothing of course. I probably need a therapy session or something. Maybe this is just normal. I don’t know. I want to want the thing I used to want before, if that makes any sense.
I know there are lots and lots of people with real issues out there and I am here sitting on my chair feeling nothing, thinking that this emptiness is really a problem. I am just lazy is what it is.
One final note is – never compare. I have felt this has a sort of negative impact in many aspects. I don’t like comparisons. It is one thing to have a healthy competition and completely other thing to be jealous of what other has achieved because you never know the efforts they might have put, or the connections they might have had. If anything, comparing yourself to your former self is the only comparison justifiable, that too I don’t agree with because circumstances change things, they change you. You just have to hold the fort as strongly as you can and for that main ingredient is to believe in yourself.
Have a good day ahead, or night.
Always keep smiling.